Tag Archives: christmas

Navigating Child Custody During the Holiday Season

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With the holiday season upon us, this time is not always joyful for separated parents that share custody over their children. It can be one of the most difficult times of the year. Balancing your desires to share the holiday with your child, the other parent’s desires and the desires of your children can quickly turn a joyous season into a headache. Below are some tips on how to successfully navigate the holidays for a peaceful and happy celebration.

  1. Remind yourself that it’s about your children. It’s ok to have your own desires, but remember that as a parent your child’s happiness comes first. In California, the Court’s overriding principal in making child custody orders is what is in the “best interest of the child”. You should have this principal to guide your decisions as well.
  2. Respect your child’s relationship with the other parent. The California legislature has chosen to codify the belief that in most cases it is in the best interests of the child for them to have full and frequent contact with the other parent. Sharing the holidays isn’t about respecting the parent but instead it’s about respecting your child’s need for a relationship with the other parent. Try and be flexible with the other parent’s schedule and encourage your children to participate.
  3. Establish a holiday schedule early. The best way to avoid holiday custody disputes is to establish a holiday custody schedule early on. Come to an agreement with the other parent over how to share the holidays with your children and have an attorney help you make it a court order. Having a preset holiday visitation order can help set expectations early and allow everyone involved to plan ahead.
  4. Make new traditions. Most everyone has holiday traditions that they grew up with as a child. Unless your traditions involved sharing the holidays between two different parents you are most likely going to make some new ones. Maybe this means that every year you have your Christmas celebration on Christmas Eve and the other parent celebrates with your child on Christmas Day. Traditions are what you choose to make and may need to be modified in order to accommodate the other parent.
  5. Be Flexible. Having a custody order helps provide stability for your child, but there will come times when either you or the other parent will want to modify the arrangement to accommodate something special. Making a modification request early and your flexibility in responding to the other parent’s requests is key in avoiding the Courts. If you are faced with an intractable parent who won’t accommodate your reasonable request, being able to point to a time when you did accommodate may go a long way toward getting a judge to side with you.

Hope these tips bring divorced and/or separated parents piece of mind accommodating to one another’s schedule this holiday season.

- James Steinle, Family Law Attorney

5 Easy Christmas Holiday Money Saving Tips

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This holiday season do yourself a favor and focus on what matters most.  Time with family far away from the crowds at Costco are what I enjoy.  Sure you can buy your Christmas cookies but why not spend time with the kids baking them instead!

Tip #1: Cook for yourself- Eating out is expensive and with the average price of eating at a restaurant at $55, you can feast at home and have leftovers the next day.

Tip #2: Shop the thrift and consignment stores- When our daughter recently turned four, we bought her birthday gifts from the dollar store.  She was happy as could be and told us that it was her best birthday ever! There are great deals at Goodwill and if you haven’t been in one lately you should check it out.  Many merchandise are lightlyused and as good as new.

Tip #3: Make your gifts- Some of the best holiday cards we get are from our friends who have taken the time to make a card for us.  And if you think art supplies are expensive,
take a look at some of the packaging and things you already have and find a creative way to use them in your project.  I like to think of this as taking the middleman out of recycling.

Tip #4: Watch movies at home- We must have 200 movies at home and have watched most of them only once. Except for the animated kids movies, of course, which we watch over and over again!  I like to pull out one of my favorite “adult film”, Jerry McGuire and pretend I’m seeing it again for the first time.  What does it mean when Bob Sugar says “It’s not “show friends.” It’s show *business*”?  And it gets me every time
when the late great Dicky Fox points to his heart and says “If this is empty”
then bonks his head on the palm of his hand saying “this doesn’t matter”.

Tip #5: Enjoy Saving Money- Instead of rushing out to spend your hard earned cash this Christmas put the money away.  The thrill of purchasing something fizzles fast but the security of money in the bank lasts.  When you really need something you won’t need to worry about how to afford whatever it might be.

As a young parent I often feel caught up in working longer and harder so that I can provide my family with more things, a bigger house ora better education.  But the truth is, happiness isn’t for sale and real learning takes hard work and not high tuition.

So, WAKE UP this Holiday and see things for what they are.  Don’t let life pass you by chasing a bigger home, nicer car or faster toys.  What you need is right before you and it is FREE!

Merry Christmas Everybody!

- The Mlnarik Law Group staff